Q&A: What Do I Need to Know Before Agreeing to Be a Bridesmaid?

Q: My friend sent bridesmaid invitations to our friend group last week, asking us to be in her bridal party. I love the idea of being a bridesmaid but I’ve never done it and I’m not sure I even know how to be a bridesmaid! I’ve heard that it can be a lot of work. And while I really want to be there for my friend, I’m worried that I’m not cut out for the bridesmaid role. Any advice on bridesmaid etiquette or what to expect as a bridesmaid before I say yes?

A: Bridesmaid responsibilities really revolve around being there for your friend throughout the entire wedding planning process, from all the prewedding parties–like the bridal shower and bachelorette party–to the wedding weekend and day itself. As a bridesmaid, you’ll help the maid of honor plan the bridal shower and bachelorette parties. The wedding weekend will be more involved as well. You’ll probably have to be in town at least a day or two before the wedding day to attend the rehearsal dinner and welcome party (if your friend is having one). You’ll also need to buy a bridesmaid dress and accessories. All of that is at a minimum. Your friend might ask you to go dress shopping with her. She may also just want you and the rest of the bridal party to be there for her as a sounding board as she plans. In short, being a bridesmaid does require quite a bit of time. But while it may be time-intensive, being there and supporting your friend as she goes through the planning process and gets married can also be incredibly special and fun. So the question for you will be whether you have the time and the resources to dedicate to your friend and her wedding day.
If being a bridesmaid doesn’t sound like something you’ll be able to manage or if you won’t be in town on her wedding date, that’s okay. Just make sure you tell her sooner than later so that she knows. The best way to handle is to sit down with her in person. Tell her that while you value your friendship, you’re worried you won’t be able to dedicate enough time to all the festivities. Then offer to play a smaller role in her wedding. You could be a greeter at the ceremony, offer to help with setup, or just be there to step in on the wedding day with whatever she needs.
On the other hand, if you’re ready to be a bridesmaid, then let her know as soon as possible so that she can count you in!

Xo
The Kleinfeld Bridal Party Team